Suckers.

Remember when I said that leeches bite with a unwavering vengeance? I was right. During the course of my one day camping trip, I was only careless enough to let one, single, solitary leech lay it's rancid jaws on me. Little over 5 centimetres, that damned bloodsucker proved to be more of a nuisance than I expected. I shall name him Charlie. Damn you Charlie, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn your leechy body down to it's bloody bits.

Charlie bit me in a seemingly harmless spot, right between my third and fourth toe. Normally, I leeches could easily be removed with rich amounts of salt or with half a second near a source of fire. Choosing the first option, I sprinkled an abundant amount of solid sodium chloride over that little monster. Immediately, I could see Charlie wriggling in despair as the hypertonic salt drained every trace of water from his tiny body.

"But Charlie was a fighter."

He held on to dear life on the top of my foot, refusing to relax those tiny jaws of his. Inevitably, I had to swat him off by force. He squirmed and twisted on the ground, expressing all the sorts of pain that a leech can manage. Exacting my revenge, I piled a mountain of salt on Charlie, and sealed his fate. Not long after, his incessant wriggling slowly stopped, as he puked and gurgled the remains of my nutritional blood. Charlie was dead. Even so, he didn't go down without a fight, he left me a price to pay.

I hope you burn in leech hell, Charlie
Where the leech devil stabs you with his fiery fork all day long.

As I look down and prod my swollen right foot, I can't help but relate the sly and mischevious demeanor of these leeches to people. Some sneak around to find a suitable host to latch onto and then suck the living crap out of them. Human leeches are everywhere, money launderers, materialistic goons and compliment milkers all a rampant! Once they've had their fill of what they want, they head off to their musty dens and digest their catch, awaiting they're next victim.

I figured out that it's damn near impossible to change the embedded habits of these human bloodsuckers. Trying to change them would be like teaching a leech to eat leafs for a living. I don't think Charlie would've enjoyed a juicy leaf, although, he might've survived.