Acne Anonymous.

" Hey, let me recommend to clear 'that' up for you, it's this product...." he said while gesturing his pudgy finger all over his face. Immediately, I shut him off my mind and stopped listening to what he had to say. I just stood there, nodding to his endless mumbling about some cure-all product that would do wonders for me. Another product that would just end up in the trash by the end of the month. Don't get me wrong, I know he's just being thoughtful and considerate of my condition. But I hated the fact that he reminded me. Reminded me of my curse.

When I was a little baby boy, I had the smoothest, whitest and most radiant skin in the the face of Malaysia has ever seen. Looking back at all those adorable baby pictures of me, I found it hard to believe it was me at all. I was so pure.... so pleasant.... so beautiful. My relatives couldn't help but pinch my cheeks and lament how cute and chubby I was. So cute in fact, that my sister admits that I hogged all the attention from her as a child. ( I'm sorry Aimee ) Indeed, I was cute and chubby.

As the years zoomed by, I grew out of my chubbiness. I remember betting a serving of KFC's scrumptous Cheezy Wedges with my sister that I'd outgrow her before I turned 13. She lost that bet horribly. By a couple of centimeters to be exact. But, there was a downside to my growth spurt, a downside that I never saw coming. A downside so impacting, that I can honestly say, it's changed me. I had acne.

The first signs started when I entered secondary school, 13 and dumb as hell. It wasn't much of an eyesore at first, quiet bearable actually. Just a sprinkle of it along my forehead and a touch of it on my temples, absolutely nothing to worry about. In one year's time, everything changed. It spreaded like wildfire, scouring along every corner and every nook on my face, until there wasn't even a clean spot left.

And then it started, the endless insults, pokes and jokes poured all over me. They'd make fun of me, asking me if they can pinch my pimples and laughing at me when some of my zits got pretty big. It was horrible. Every line, every word took it's toll on my self-confidence. It was like I couldn't fit into society at all, like I was a part of the puzzle that just stood out like a sore thumb. Girls would look at me, their faces contorted and disgusted. They'd ask me if I ever wash my face.

Of course, my mom looked out for me. She'd buy all these expensive washes, scrubs and toners for me. They were quiet effective at first, but somehow, my face seemed to have mutated over it. It kinda laughed at all these petty facial products. And so, we consulted the professionals. I can't even begin to fathom the amount of expenses my dear mother has spent for me, for my condition. Every week, we'd visit a dermatologist and perform lots of fancy treatments and procedures. My mom's dressing room shelf is now piled high with these products, all costing a fortune.

After a year of intensive treatment, they were finally able to slow down the process of my stage-4 acne. It stopped growing, and my skin is all smoothed out now, but the scars remain. Scars that won't go away no matter how much scrubbing you do. Even so, I still have to keep up my home treatment with all these expensive products. I fear I'll have to use them for life. Money that could be spent on more important things. Money that could be used to give ourselves a nice holiday. It pains me to see when Mom grumbles about her credit card bills. I can't help but feel it's part of my fault.

Even so, I believe that everything in our lives happen for a reason. Even acne. As i look on the brighter side of things, I realize that my condition has changed me. Acne helped me find who my real friends are, friends who don't mind if I have the ugliest face in the world, as long as I'm still me. Acne has taught me to make it in this harsh world without hitching a ride with beauty. And above all, acne has taught me that it's what on the inside that counts. What's under the surface.

With that, dear acne, it turns out you haven't been much of a foe or an ally at all. Like everything else in life. I misunderstood you.